The Cartographer's Confession
#I have been drawing maps of a country I've never visited.
Each morning I sit at the pine desk my father left me and ink the rivers first — always the rivers — because water is what a land remembers longest. I name them after sounds: the Murmur, the Hush, the river they call Almost. I sketch the mountain passes where traders would rest if traders existed, the ports where fishing boats would knock against the docks if there were any sea.
My wife asks who the maps are for. I tell her: someone lost.
She says, Everyone is lost, Enric. That doesn't answer the question.
I have given the country four seasons, a history of moderate conflict, and a bread made from dark grain that the people eat with honey and salt. I have given it a word for the feeling of returning home after many years — volmera — because every real language has such a word, and this country, though it has never existed, deserves a real language.
Last Tuesday I finished the capital. It sits in a valley between two ridges like a coin in a palm. The streets follow no grid. They wander the way conversations wander between old friends, bending toward whatever is interesting. There is a square where, on certain evenings, lanterns are hung from wires and no one can remember who started the tradition.
My hands are stained with ink. My eyes are not what they were.
But yesterday a letter arrived — postmarked from a city I could not locate in any atlas — and inside, on paper thinner than breath, someone had written in careful script:
The bread here is everything you promised.
I have read it eleven times.
I am beginning to think the country does not need me anymore.